Sherwood Shindig

Time: I don’t know I had a hangover, Place: somewhere up North, Code: Sherwood Shindig, Mission: have a bloody good time. So started the weekend adventure of our intrepid band of travellers from the deep South (well South London and Surrey anyway)

So had we learned our lessons from a recent forage into the Northern territories of Doncaster, with strange line dancing firewomen, pirates, YMCA members (the band not the club) and the ugliest Borat ever seen accompanied by rain that did a pretty good impersonation of Niagara. Er…No.

With a weather forecast that at best could be described as “ruddy awful” our happy band set off from Reigate full of hope, happiness and that misty vision that comes from one too many beers the night before and a pair of rose tinted glasses to stop the sun light destroying what you have left of your retinas.

Boring 180 mile motorway journey interrupted by quick, overpriced brekkie at Happy Eater Toddington. Nuff said.

We arrived, at a building site, is this it, can’t be, maybe it is, are you sure, I don’t think so, but there’s other bikes, must be lost as well, I don’t like the look of that fork lift.

Welcomed by the friendly faces of a nervous looking Centre 9 are they lost too? we collected our goody bags and got the low down on what was occurring, building’s getting an £8 million makeover, imagine how great it will be when finished, probably won’t let us near it then. But the campsite is just down deathtrap lane. We do mud like Denmark does sand. Fine we love a challenge.

So, with tents set and flag flying it was off to the local Tesco to get supplies. Meeting our fellow missionaries on the way back, (is that what someone with a mission is called or is it just a position?) we quickly diverted to Witherspoons, famous home of vast quantities of cheap beer and pub grub, busy place, not surprising with around 300 hungry and thirsty bikers camped across the road, “how many” said the lone nervous barman. (Found out later that they had been told when we were coming every week since last Christmas)

Food ordered and beer acquired we settle down and after a 45 minute wait said barman advises “we haven’t got what you’ve ordered” “ribs?” “no” shank?” “no” plaice?” “no” “tell you what, give us whatever you’ve got” Half an hour later I get a cold jacket potato and my better half gets a plate of Cayenne pepper with a little side order of  Crayfish, “I suppose you want your money back then” Wasn’t hungry anyway. Luckily our Welsh contingent treated us to their melodious sounds in celebration of one of their birthdays, decided it was best to keep quiet about getting to 50 the day before.

Back at site we got into the ritual of greeting old and not so old faces and putting a serious dent in the rum supply followed by a visit to the nights venue. The first item on the architects list when designing a Gymnasium is not acoustics, the disco and band were going to have their work cut out here, but despite the difficulties they put on a decent show and, as far as I could tell, a good time was had by all.

The outside bar was sadly a different story, if you think having a monopoly on the sale of alcohol means you can charge west end prices on a north of England building site all you succeed in doing is selling very little. Use a bit of common sense and you’ll do very nicely at any of our events, charge a mark up of 500% on the local prices and it drives people to break the rules and bring their own. No names no pack drill but the shopping trolley was probably a bit too far.

As is the way of these things the rest of the evening gets a little blurry but I think it included a cheeseburger. Very nice at only £2.

There is a very special sound that greets you from time to time when under canvas, the gentle pitter patter of rain on the tent on Saturday morning has a rhythm all it’s own. It’s very soothing to listen to the musical form as you mentally debate how long your bladder will last before you have to make a run across the slippery wet fields to a plastic box. These boxes distort the space time continuum in the opposite way that the Tardis does, they are impossibly small on the inside considering the huge outside dimensions. They also have an ambience all their own, but I won’t spoil it for those of you yet to try them.

After ablutions, and with the precipitation showing no sign of relief a few of us decamped to Tesco for breakfast. (Two mentions, do you reckon we could get a sponsorship deal out of them) Having discussed and declined the run out we decided to visit the premises where Custom Cruisers used to be located, then drive back through Alfreton to their new premises, (update the address on your web site, there’s a good chap) no bargains to be had, shame.

Then it was a quick consultation of the magic book and we were off to South Wingfield for lunch at the old yew tree inn, nice beer, nice food and a cosy if haunted atmosphere. Then back to site as the old boy needed his nap while the rest of us set to putting the world to rights, as you do.

Saturday evening, the mud was really getting into its stride now, did anyone mention fancy dress?  Why were all these people wearing clothes that went out of fashion in 1300? And what’s all this about Robin Hood, he’s supposed to be Robin of Loxley, that’s a village near Sheffield, Uttoxeter or Warwick not Nottingham for Pete’s sake.

(Shut up and enjoy yourself, your on hollibobs, Ruth)

OK, sorry, where was I, listening to a very large man in a brown habit talking about the huge issues which face us every day, the future of the human race, religion, war and so on, that must have been the deep fat friar.

Tip for first timers. When asked if this is your first rally and you have Rusty behind you say “No definitely not, been to thousands, since before I was born” do not say “Yeh rally virgin me” unless you really do want to see the last of your clothes, well done Rusty, great outfit which seemed to get better, and less of, as the night wore on.

Last highlight of the evening for me was watching our Jackie dancing in a wheel chair, you had to be there really.

Not a great deal more to say, usual Northern habit of packing tent in pouring rain on Sunday morning but garage has fixings in roof to accommodate wet tent, have I been doing this too long,

The winners won and got their cups, loved hearing first hand about the Swedish trip, sorry I couldn’t make it, Finland should be great, my centre friends all got home safe, trust you all did too, hope Polly recovers from her fall quickly, shame about the weather but it didn’t dampen the enthusiasm and effort from the C9 crew, thank you for having us.

See you in Cambridge.

AJ C14 Rep