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THE
WIRRAL EXPERIENCE It seemed like we had only just finished clearing away from the BMF
weekend when here we were again cramming as much as Mary insisted we would need
into the smallest possible space. Still no matter I only had the tent to load on
the bike whilst SWMBO had the whole of the NALA (Nissan Articulated Look-Alike)
to fill. Arrangements made we duly set off on a lovely clear spring morning.
Living where we do, to get anywhere involves traffic jams and true to form no
less than a mile from home I started filtering whilst Mary joined the inevitable
rush day traffic. Having cleared the M25 road works I settled in to an easy pace
and it wasn’t long before flashing headlights appeared behind (she must have
been speeding officer) A surprisingly clear run soon found us at Toddington Services and the
timing couldn’t have been better. No sooner had the side stand gone down when
up rolled Tony & Gill, and Nick & Julie quickly followed by Les and then
Ian & Jackie. Needless to say we made the staff at the Little Chef earn
their wages that morning feeding us, although poor old Les did have to more or
less go and cook his himself (must be the accent Les) Tums full, bikes unloaded and yet more kit packed into NALA the bikes
set off with Ian leading. Mary was to make her own way with Julie as company,
the plan being that by the time they got to site we would have arrived, set up
tents and be at least half way to lubrication heaven. A good well planned route
(cheers Ian) saw us miss the bulk of traffic and despite having to do a quick
stop to don ‘water-proof’ kit some 15 miles from camp all arrived safe and
well. Sorting out where to pitch camp up turns Mary & Julie, remember the
plan, they apparently had arrived before us and had gone off to recce the bar,
as you do. She was definitely speeding officer. Tents up and plans made for a run into town for urgent supplies, you
know the sort of thing. By the time every one had crammed in to NALA there was
no room for myself, Les and Tony, so we volunteered to go by foot and find the
nearest fresh water tap. Fortunately some one had very kindly laid a trail of
lights for us to follow, however, they weren’t turned on so we were unable to
locate it straight away but were not too disappointed as we did find the bar.
Les has by now settled into a sad dismal shadow of his normal self apparently
due to his drinking partner Bob not being able to make the weekend. Naturally
not wanting to see a fellow Reject suffer I volunteered to stand in and set
about a light arm bending training session with him. Some hours later Mary and
party arrive to find us well lubricated and still looking for the water tap.
“Its outside” she says. “Is it” said we, “Where about” “By the
door” said she “Seeing as you know where it is why don’t you go and fill
up the water carrier” said I “£$*&^%?!!” said she. We compromised,
more drinks all round and then sorted out the water. By the time we return to
the campsite more of the gang had arrived, and all hands set about trying to
hinder those still unloading etc. Some it appeared had even travelled up with
their own personal rain cloud. Never mind spirits are high and everyone is
looking forward to a great time. Night time arrived and it’s off to party, Les has disappeared (these
young ones just can’t seem to get the pacing right) The band KAPPA seemed to
hit the right note and it wasn’t long before once again we were jumping about
like demented, tailless kangaroos. I couldn’t understand why everybody was
dancing on one side of the marcqexx marckey (oh shit, big tent thing) when it
suddenly dawned, the cleverly designed sloping floor that allowed you to get
falling over legless without any one realizing it. Good idea that. The disco
took over complete with supporting video (a real cool idea that I thought worked
well). Soon body is flagging so it’s off to catch the big blue bus and some
late supper/early breakfast before following the now lit up path to bed. Morning dawns and it’s up with the larks (I’d fallen asleep under a
tree) Off to breakfast and things really began to get scary, either someone has
stolen the big blue bus or last night was only a dream. Tums filled, back to
tent site (should be real fit by the end of the rally at this rate) and it’s
plan for the day. Easy, head not really secured on shoulders enough to join the
ride out so decided on a totally relaxing day. Custom Cruisers were calling but
they just wanted a hand to set out their stall. Decided better get bike tyres
sealed ready for Holland so spent a pleasant half hour getting that done. Even
got the bike cleaned whilst they demonstrated wonder polish. Must remember that
ploy next time. Late afternoon and we decide to pop out to find a hole in the
wall. A 3 hour mystery tour later and we return armed with strawberries and
cream. Nick and Julie have returned from the ride out so we settle down for a
quaint English afternoon tea of strawberries, cream, and Guinness, life
couldn’t be sweeter. Soon party time calls and we head off along the now well worn path to
the bar. Same excellent disco and a band who couldn’t be bothered to call them
selves anything. Mind you they were good and once again the sloping floor
called. Anne had her jumping head on (or is it feet) and it wasn’t long before
she had us all doing the spring loaded zombie dance, well that’s what it looks
like. Julie performed a brilliantly mimed rendition of Queen’s Bohemian
Rhapsody which had us all in stitches and the night just rolled along. Partied
out, band gone home and disco switched off we once again follow the trail to
tent. Mary and Julie are in giggle mode and manage to wake half of Birkenhead
whilst discussing the merits of quick release zips on jeans compared with old
fashioned studs. At least studs and zips came into it somewhere. Finally Nick
and I manage to pry them apart (Mary & Julie not the zips) and drag them off
to our respective beds. Head hits pillow and morning arrives all too soon. Coffee, bacon toasties and yet more coffee see us ready for the days’
ride out but not before a quick visit to Custom Cruises to try out a set of
Mustang seats, Very Very tempting. We join the mass riders and head off on what
we thought was a well marshalled ride. I understand this was the first time the
centre had done such a rally/ride out and if this was the case well done no
complaints from this quarter. Even found ourselves leading at one stage with
thoughts of being first in the cream tea queue, however another junction popped
up and we did our mark the turn bit which resulted in us being last in the cream
tea queue but who cares we were enjoying it. Ponderosa café called and with
cold drinks and warm cakes coupled with a clear blue sky life just couldn’t
get better. A good ride back found us in high spirits so I took the opportunity
to show Mary the benefit of a really comfy seating system and ended up letting
her persuade me to get a set (well you got to get in whilst the going is good) A bunch of us decide to hit one of the local haunts for a last supper so
to speak, some of the less fit amongst us decided to ride while Mary and I along
with Gill and Tony, Julie and Nick and not forgetting Les decided it was too
nice an evening to waste so walked the mile and a bit just to work up an
appetite (thirst). We arrived to find Ian and Jackie camped not too far from the
bar and Anne, Nick, Dave, Sarah Leigh and Josh staking out the garden. Drinks in
place we set about the menu with Gill trotting to and fro the specials board
trying to remember everything listed. To while away the time naturally we set
about some quiet pastimes including acrobatics (Anne Dave and Julie) Julie
definitely won that one. Next came the rolling road, this comprised one lying
down and being rolled over by all and sundry, thank goodness some had the
presence of mind to skip this one. There then followed an in depth discussion as
to why the Seven Stars sign showed seven stars and the prat astrologist pictured
had his telescope looking in the wring direction. The ale was going down nicely,
at least for the walkers amongst us. Al and Annya appeared having just had
dinner and proceeded to recommend everything on the menu. Finally dinner was
called and at this point I must apologise to the general public for Les’s poor
behaviour. He started a silly game whereby if someone picked up their glass
everyone else had to take a drink of theirs. Needless to say it seemed a good
idea at the time. Fully replenished, biking riders set off to the rendition of
Good Night Ladies, whilst the stout walkers convinced Les to use his local
knowledge and find a bus. This he did and almost convinced the driver to divert
off his route and drop us outside the club house. Never mind Les 200 yards was
pretty close. The remainder of the night is in all honesty a bit of a haze. More
zombified dancing led by Miss X herself, more laughter and good natured banter
and of course the nightly cross country meander to bed. I’m sure someone kept
moving the lights has it seemed to get longer every time I walked it. The final dawn breaks along with the usual chorus of breaking wind, must
get her something for that. A gentle stroll for breakfast and then back to pack.
All around friends are doing likewise and goodbyes and see you next time are
called from all directions. Julie is travelling with Mary down to Toddington
again so Nick and I set off with them in tow. A good clear run sees us all
arrive together and after a final snack its load Nick’s bike up with all their
chattels. How we found room for Julie I’m don’t know, hope sitting on that
chain lock wasn’t too uncomfortable. Couldn’t have been too bad as according
to Nick she insisted on him riding around the block a few times when they got
home. Final goodbyes and we part company with they going M25 East and we M25
West. It had been a brill weekend from start to finish. A big thank you and well
done to the Vikings. Dave & Mary J Knackered but happy Rejects |