"The Cockney Rejects"

THE SHERWOOD SHINDIG

With Misty safely installed in the care of her “step mum” Paula in Charing, we head off up the A1 for a nice little run to Alfreton champing a the bit for another party! After an uneventful ride up to the OK diner for a pit-stop to sample authentic American burgers in an authentic American diner (you really must try it if you haven’t already - yummy) we peeled off onto the A606 & enjoyed a fabulous ride on winding roads through pretty villages & towns to Nottingham where, after a quick zip round the ring-road, we find ourselves pulling up to Alfreton Leisure Centre & a warm Derbyshire welcome from the Lost Riders dressed respectively as Maid Marions & Robin’s merry men (& by ‘eck were they merry – nice legs guys!!).

After some pretty awful rally entrances & exits so far this year (see the International Rally DVD to see exactly how bad my worst one was!!) I was gratified to see that we had a relatively smooth run down onto a lovely field surrounded by trees in a park (wow factor one of what were to be many that weekend). We locate the intrepid Nick with the Chimp & lovely daughter Amy in tow, plus our delightful rivals for soppy loved-upness Keith & Julie & pitch the tent.

Off to inspect the “facilities” we are greeted by wow factor 2 :-) Loos a-plenty, not only in the bar but also in the leisure centre, where we were greeted by the most fabulous & plentiful power showers – oh yes!!! In addition we have ladies & gents only Portaloos….by gum, these Lost Riders know how to treat their guests – can this be the norm from now on please?? We find out there’s a Tesco within spitting distance plus many a take-away within strolling distance & I’m now in 7^th heaven!!

We spend the early evening chatting to friends & then head for the bar. Poor Al comes back with a J₂o for me & a sad look in his eye… the only disappointment of the weekend…. there’s no bitter on tap! After an initial slow start the evening was brilliant - the band was great & did some really good covers & the disco kept everyone dancing. We even had a bit of karaoke thrown in &, whilst it’s not my scene, it was participated in enthusiastically by all who took part & really was good bit of fun  We stagger back to our pit after 1am, just managing to resist the burger van on the way back, & quickly fall asleep…..

Awake early I go to indulge myself in a long, languorous, fantastic, shower & even get to wash my hair which is almost an unknown at previous rallies due to lack of water pressure and head of very thick hair. Once again I am transported back to 7^th heaven. Get back to the tent to find that the Diamond Geezer’s gone in search of breakfast at Tesco (which is one of the many reasons he is such a diamond geezer!) & he returns with perfect timing just as the kettle boils. Quick breakfast, D.G. showers, & we go off to find petrol before the ride out only to miss it on the way back!! We try to play catch up, but with the lights seemingly against us soon lose sight of them. Deciding on Matlock for a quick look-round we head off only to bump into the ride-out again purely by coincidence half way there so we join on the back. Through Matlock, out the other side, & through more lovely winding roads to a pretty country pub: the only downside being a t**t who tried to take me off the road too inconsiderate to wait for us few tail-enders to go past… with lots of black smoke off the back tyre & blue language out of my mouth I manage to stay seated & upright once again aware that my guardian angel is still right there with me . Fortified with orange squash & scrumptious ice cream, we decide to go our own way on the second half & cruise back along yet more lovely roads (there are too many to choose from in Derbyshire I’ve discovered!), moving over with smile to let the crotch-rocket riders fly past on their personal highways to hell. We get to Matlock, spend a couple of hours mooching about searching [in vain] for a summer jacket for the D.G., eating fish n chips, & window shopping the decide it’s getting too busy & head off once more for a quiet cruise home with Paul Weller singing in my ears & a huge grin on my face

ANOTHER shower (I could’ve spent the whole weekend in there!) & then off to start the second round of partying. Beer slightly more to the D.G.’s taste this time, we grab a table next to the locals & soon get hauled up alongside being made very welcome. We enjoy another session of the disco then onto band number to who managed to blow the noise limiter out twice in the first three numbers (rock on man!!). Another excellent band, doing a mixture of covers & their own material: by the second half we are all up bopping around with Maid Marions & Friar Tucks galore now turned into Robert Palmer’s girls with their blow-up guitars (you had to be there – be sorry if you weren’t!) The other Rejects join us about half way through with Chimp and Julie up & dancing shortly thereafter –Julie glowing in the dark (tee-hee!! – sorry, not funny). D.G. treats me to cheeseburger (well, who am I to refuse sampling the local cuisine) and we dance on until the disco finishes. Leaving the other members of the Reject posse still at the table we make our weary way back to the pit for the second night.

Up early (although not as early as some) the next morning we have breakfast, dismantle the tent, and say our goodbyes. The other Rejects are heading off up the M1, but we fancy the same scenic route we took up & set off on the M1 to turn off after a couple of junctions. Pass the others in the traffic which (typically) ground to a halt after the first junction or so & filter through to come off at the next one & find an alternative route through. A little “detour” through Beeston brings us out more or less where we want to be & we enjoy another lovely cruise home via another great little diner we’d not spotted before.

Home and unpacked we then collapse in an overheated heap & snooze on & off until bedtime…… All-round this has to be one of the best VSOC do’s I have been to this year (& we’ve done most of ‘em so far!) - I can’t wait until the full-on rally in 2007.. consider our tickets already reserved guys & gals. Thank you to all the Lost Riders members for a great site with fantastic facilities, rocking entertainment, beautiful countryside to ride through, & most of all, a warm welcome & an affectionate goodbye

Annya & Al (aka Pukka Bird & Diamond Geezer)

Centre 14, Cockney Rejects