"The Great Start Stop Eat Start Stop Eat Party"

It all started with those infamous words, “Are you going to the End of Season Party on the Isle of Wight?”

Having had to miss out on so many of this season’s rallies etc due to work commitments, i.e. not enough holidays, SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) decided enough was enough, sod the work, yes we were definitely going. Of course, being of sound mind and wanting to keep my body likewise, I heartily agreed.

Having made the decision and forked out the readies, it seemed that at every meet prior to the event people kept saying, “Are you going to the Isle of Wight?” On replying “yes” we were then met with “Oh never mind, it’ll be alright” or “Never mind, I’m sure you’ll be okay” Needless to say we shrugged all this off and it had no impact whatsoever on our pre-trip preparation. -  Honest.

Short straw drawn I unfortunately had to at least put in an appearance at work on the Friday. This left Swmbo to do the packing. Shouldn’t be too difficult, after all just how much do you need for a weekend, and there were three big bags to fill. Duty done rushed home to find bags bulging and wet weather kit still on the settee. Crammed it all in and off we set just in time to beat the traffic. A good ride down found us in Portsmouth being waved to the front of the queue and directed to the ticket office. More readies changed hands, dashed back to bike to find Boss explaining to Mr Jobs Worth Loader that husband was on way with ticket and wouldn’t be long. Showed tickets, directed to board, did so, parked up and then realised Swmbo not on the back. Fortunately (for me) she had walked on and was wind bathing on the sun deck having a relaxing ciggy. Thank Goodness for Raffles. Now at this point we realised there were only two other bikes on the Ferry and they were of the head down bum up variety. Memories came flooding of all those “Oh never mind” comments and doubts began to creep in. “No” said I, “They wouldn’t do that to us, we’re just arriving later than everyone else” A smooth crossing later the ferry docked and we were off again in search of a party.

 Darkness has descended and we find our selves out side the main reception to be greeted by one of our hosts and directed to the bar. On route we identify our allocated chalet and bump into Anne and Nick with whom we are sharing. Key handed over and directions given we are about to set off to unload when Anne announces we’re all going into town for a nosh, taxi will be here in 5-10 mins. Mad dash to chalet; unload bags, parked bike up. Return to chalet to find Swmbo muttering to herself, something about jeans or rather the lack of them. They were obviously on the settee under the waterproofs and I hadn’t packed them!!  Never mind leathers will do and taxi is on the way. Quick sprint to reception to explain to Nick the chalet door will not lock. Having been given the idiot’s guide to locking doors without the use of a key, mad dash back to chalet, locked door and yet another sprint to meet everyone else on the bus.

A short journey later found us all suitably ensconced in a delightful basement bar, drinks in hand and food on the way. That is of course if you were lucky enough not to be served by the I of W version of Manuel, who seemed to have difficulty in taking the order, or was it something to do with someone requesting detailed descriptions for everything on the menu. Either way after much idle chatter, many laughs and good food it was back to the bus for the return to base and the first nights partying. It was obviously a light training session as most of the S.L.S. members were to be found laid back on the comfy seats practising the noble art of supping. Despite all of Swmbo’s attempts to the contrary I  managed to stay the course without having to venture too near the dance floor. The witching hour passed and body was beginning to say enough was enough, it had been a long day and another one was due to start soon. Goodnights all round and it was off to the land of nod.

Day 2 dawns and its’ up with the larks and out with the early bird to catch the worm. No I’m not talking about Swmbo and her passion for morning aerobics. Coffee going down nicely but tum is asking for more so off  to the food bar. Breakfast ordered, and it was back to the comfy laid back seats where once again S.L.S. members were gathering. (I’m sure some had been there all night) Now how long does it take to make 2 cups of black coffee and a plate of toast? At one point I was thinking I’d have a better chance of winning the lottery than getting my order number called out. Still Swmbo made good use of the delay to tell every one who still didn’t know all about her bike assessment earlier in the week and of her up and coming lessons and test. Still waiting for 2C & T we, along with everyone else, gather together for a quick meeting.

Agenda outlined by our illustrious leader, we swiftly come to the following conclusions; Yep go for the 2003 rally (well volunteered Ian) Yep the existing committee are doing a grand job and deserve to remain in office (rumour control has it that someone is trying to hand over the Newsletter) Yep go for the Xmas shindig  (I think we agreed on XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX but I couldn’t swear to it as just then my order number came up and I went into cardiac arrest from the shock and excitement).  Meeting concluded, it was off to prepare for the day’s activity. Leathers donned, bikes lined up and exhausts rumbling, mind you it may have been the previous nights Guinness, we duly set off to find a pub for DINNER.  First stop petrol station, second stop petrol station, and third stop the pub. Dinner booked, loo’s visited and ciggies extinguished it was off to find the sticky cake shop. And what a ride. Now I have to say that both Swmbo and I are into scenic views be it mountains, valleys, shorelines or whatever.

Unbeknown to me Swmbo Speilberg had the cam–corder out filming anything that happened to appear in the lens. The first I was aware of this was when Bob appeared on my right hand side waving frantically. Naturally panic set in, checked for oil, fire, water, gatso and anything else that came to mind. It was only later when asked he revealed he was trying to get on camera. Some people will do anything to get on the telly.

Next stop was Freshwater Bay and the cake shop. Bikes parked up in a line of gleaming paintwork and chrome (Steve had parked his around the corner) we set off on the 100 metre walk just to work up an appetite. It obviously worked, as soon the tea garden was resounding to the sound of lip smacking, finger licking contentment that can only come from real yummy cakes. With the sun streaming down and our little tums full life couldn’t get much better, but then Jackie reminded us all that the sweet factory awaited. Once again we set off along open roads with marvellous shoreline views and Swmbo was soon busy with the camera. Not forgetting Bob and his desire for stardom she proceeded to film behind her. This obviously impressed him, as once again arms were a waving. Unfortunately not being able to actually look in the view finder Swmbo wasn’t aware that she was actually filming the sky, sea, road in fact every thing but the intended target. Never mind Bob better luck next time.

We soon arrived at Alum Bay and with the bikes parked up set off to stretch our legs and see what was on offer. Now at this point I have to say that Swmbo was very good. Despite all the offerings at the Sweet Factory she never bought a thing. Mind you she didn’t half moan about there not being anything with rum in it. Now whether by design or pure accident we all met up at a side show offering 20 quid if you could climb a ladder and ring a bell. Having been shown how easy it was by the local expert, volunteers slowly came forward. Sadly despite some valiant efforts the bell remained silent. Watching and participating was obviously tiring, as we had to stop for a rest half way back to the bikes. Fortunately we didn’t all fall asleep and soon we were back on the road towards The Wight Mouse Inn and dinner. Unfortunately on route Betsy (the bike) decided another rest was needed and without any warning just cut out and stopped. Not having experienced the breakdown procedure before I must say we were suitably impressed. Bob our trusty back marker stayed with us until all was broom broom again and then led us to the pub. Cheers Bob. Needless to say we arrived before anyone else, having taken the direct as opposed to the ‘scenic’ route. Now you know what to do if you want to get to the front of the queue. Drinks and nosh in place we all set about cleaning our plates and emptying the glasses. If you haven’t had a meal here then it is strongly recommended. Just don’t ask me for directions, I still don’t know where we were. Excitement rising it was time to mount our trusty steeds and set off again back to base for the nighttime activities.

Party time found us scattered in and around the bar trying to remember really important things like ‘What was the name of the Famous Four’ and ‘how do you spell '!”£??@)(*&^%’ not to mention raking our memories for songs with boy’s and girl’s names. Thank goodness for Good King Wencelas and Humpty Dumpty. Now it’s obvious that members of  SL&S must be particularly intelligent, either that or very old, as we won the song contest and, we think, came second in the quiz. A big thankyou to all contributors. I still think our team name ‘Deaf Old Gits’ should have won the name comp. Frivolities over and done with it was down to the serious business of partying. Swmbo finally got her way and I found myself on the dance floor strutting my stuff.  Have you ever tried waltzing to heavy metal? The excellent group and disco kept the good times going and proved the adage that time flies when you’re enjoying yourselves. Now Swmbo had tried to get Steve on the floor (not literally) earlier but he had convinced her he didn’t dance before three am. However, when the disco started playing  Gary Glitters I’m The Leader, he found himself surrounded and was soon shaking his locks with the rest of us. I can’t remember how long we were jigging but by the time the disco had run out of records I was truly knackered and in need of cardiovascular surgery. It’s true what they say time does fly when you’re enjoying yourself, but all too soon it was time to wind our weary way to bed.

Day 3 dawns and it’s off to take part in the morning lottery. It’s amazing how many bright eyed and bushy tailed people were about. Breakfast done with many good byes and see you next time served up it was time to pack the bags, load the bike and head for home. Even the weather couldn’t dampen our spirits, we had had a fantastic time riding and wandering about, bumping into fellow travellers with hello’s and nods all around, friendship and laughter displayed wherever we went.  It was most definitely a great weekend. Thank you to all for making it so and see you next time.

Dave & Mary J. (Swmbo)